Swallowing My Pride
by forgottenweasley
Summary: Someone realises the mistakes they've made in their life and has now got to swallow their pride to make it right.


**Title: Swallowing My Pride**

**Author: Moi, forgottenweasley, Jess etc.**

**Summary: ****Someone realises the mistakes they've made in their life and has now got to swallow their pride to make it right.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.**

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I throw my golden quill down in frustration, all my anger placed into the motion. I lift the bottle of ink and throw that across the room, black spots now emitted across the walls of my office. I look down at my papers with utmost disgust before scattering them to the right of my desk with one fell swoop of my arms. I stand and pace the floor space between my chair and desk, wringing my hands and muttering to myself. Any person who were to enter the room now would think I had positively lost my mind. Sadly, that isn't what I've lost. I've lost something much more important. Maybe that's what the empty feeling is; why my heart feels so hollow. They love me, I know they do but they also hate me. I thought I felt the same about them but all I've ever done is miss them terribly. Oh how could I have misplaced my loyalty. They mean more to me than this; this mess I have created in my office… my prison. I thought just maybe, this job could give me a sense of fulfilment, of meaning, but instead it has just created more misery. I thought buying lavish gifts for myself, using my large pay packet, would comfort me; fill up the hollow I felt inside, but no, it simply fed the hollow, enlarging it as my material greed drove them further away from me and caused their hate to overcome their love. They could never accept me now. They would never want me to return.

"Excuse me sir. Where would you like these… papers?"

The young lady's eyes wander as she studies my slight destruction, the strewn papers and splattered ink, before her eyes rest upon my flustered, irritated face.

"Just leave them on the desk Emily. And you can go home early today. There is nothing else you need to do. Go to visit your family or friends. You don't realise how precious they are until they're gone."

"Umm…well… yes, okay. Thank you sir. Goodnight."

"G'night."

She almost runs from the room, scared of what will happen to her if she remained in the same enclosed space as me. See? My own secretary thinks I'm losing my mind. Now most men would take advantage of having a gorgeous girl like her in the room if they were feeling down, but not me. Nothing can fill this hollow apart from those which created it in the first place. But wait, they didn't create the hollow, I did. I pushed them away when all they wanted to do was care for me and protect me. What do I do? Argue ferociously with them and completely disregard their feelings.

I begrudgingly shuffle around the room, collecting the papers and washing the ink off the wall. I'm doing it the muggle way. No need to use magic really, no rush to get home. It's just one giant empty space, hollow, just like me. I silently magic away the cleaning equipment before sighing heavily and slumping down in my overly large chair. I saw this large chair as a symbol of my power and importance when I first received this job but now it just feels ridiculous. I lean over to the left side of my desk and grab hold of a heavy brass handle. I tug at the handle, heaving open a large drawer and reaching inside. I pull out a small picture frame and place it down on the desk; it almost feels as if it's staring at me. Technically it is as those eyes stare back at me, the eyes of the people I miss so much. I silently reflect upon my past as I brush away the dust that adorned the picture. It was actually a muggle picture, a perfect moment encapsulated as a treasured memory forever. If it were to be a wizard image the love would not be apparent, only hatred. This frozen moment in time causes tears to well in my eyes. I make sure that every speck of dust is removed before I place the frame right at the front of my desk so that I can be reminded of my loved ones everytime I sit in this position. As I sit and stare I realise my pride no longer matters. i need them. I swallow any fears I have and stand up readying myself for what I'm about to do. I breathe deeply and smile at the picture. I count to three and apparate to my old home.

Here I stand looking at the rickety old building and remember how much I had despised it growing up. But now it felt more like home than it ever had before. I walk up the path and knock solemnly upon the door. I tentatively look up at the lady who answers, tears again filling me eyes. Her red hair is tinged with grey and the stress of today's world is showing in her face. I still think she looks beautiful though. She stares back at me and I'm unsure of whether those eyes show love or hatred. I pray for the former. I swallow nervously before uttering three words.

"I'm sorry Mum."

Tears flow freely from both of our eyes and she flings her arms around me, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Most people would be fighting away from this grasp but I return it with the same force. As we part I see him stood behind my mother. She steps aside as I walk towards the man who now felt like a stranger. I uttered five more words to him than I had to my mother.

"I'm sorry dad. I want to come home."

He's just standing there, looking at me. No shock, no hatred, no love expressed, just a blank expression. He takes one step toward me before pulling me into a strong hug and whispers hoarsely to me.

"I forgive you son."

I now wrap my arms around him and realise something. I, Percy Ignatius Weasley, am home.


End file.
